When I tell my daughter how I feel

People used to tell me that parenting a teenager is hard but what I find really hard is when there is a large age gap where one child is a teenager and the other is just starting school. Although the illustration of the mother in my newest children’s book ‘Is Reine Still Sleeping?’ looks quite tranquil, the reality is I’m constantly frazzled trying to balance the needs of my children’s different ages. This book is about a little boy trying to come to terms with the fact that his older sister by ten years is a teenager and no longer has time for him. He’s hurt and he feels she no longer loves him. It’s hard for me as a mother too, to see my teenaged daughter pulling away from us. I have to consciously remember how it was when I was a teenager. Friends were the most important people to me at that time. I know this seemingly selfish phase doesn’t last but still, communication is so important. Just as in my book when the little boy tells his sister how he feels, when I tell my daughter how I feel, it’s the start of a much needed dialogue, and we realize that we still need each other as much as ever.

 

2 replies
  1. Jennifer Wyss
    Jennifer Wyss says:

    And this will only get better when the children become young adults and leave home for university.They will realize that they need their Mom for advise,patenting skills and just missing the comforts of home.Enjoy the different ages.

  2. Rosalie
    Rosalie says:

    Communication always, I try to keep those lines of communication going at all times. I must admit, I find that the hardest child to do this with is our last, Kev. He is a wonderful boy, smart, funny, and very charming when he wants to be, but right now, he is, as you have said, moving away. He is very like I was as a teenager, when Daddy used to call me “Wandering Rose”, so I know where he gets it from. But I will continue to try to pull him back in at times. I invite him to come and sit with me. To go on little excursions with me. I enjoy going to pick him up from work most times, because that represents 15 minutes with him alone. Sometimes we talk, sometimes we just sit companionably beside each other. Everytime we speak to each other when we are not physically in the same location, I insist we tell each other “I love you” and now, when I am rushing and forget to say it, he will remind me!

    Quite often I will see a picture of either each child individually or with each other and the immense feelings of love that literally “floods” me is wonderful! And I know, that for my two older children who have reached adulthood, our bonds are secure so I will continue to take little snippets of his time where I can get them. Each one continues to strenghten and reinforce that bond.

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