There is a way to magically heal relationships and release bitterness and pain from past relationships. Admittedly, I was skeptical. When I first tried this simple yet effective exercise, I didn’t think it would work. I wish this idea was mine, but it isn’t. I read it in the book The Magic by Rhonda Byrne and what I learned completely changed my life. It works for any broken, difficult, troubled relationship.
It doesn’t matter whether you’re currently in a relationship or one that has ended. It works if you’ve been holding anger towards someone in your life or if you’ve recently had an argument with a loved one. The relationship doesn’t have to be a romantic one. It can be a neighbour, sibling, boss, friend, etc.
The exercise is simple yet it works.
Step one. Think of the problematic relationship you want to improve.
Step two. Write ten things you’re grateful for about the person. _Name___________, I’m grateful for _what___________?
Before you dismiss this, there are many reasons why it’s important to rid ourselves of anger and bitterness towards another no matter how they’ve wronged us. Resentment, anger and bitterness cause illness. They rid us of energy and hope. They kill our drive and lead to a downward spiral of negativity. They make us unattractive. As our thoughts stay angry and bitter, our outer appearance transforms to deeper frown lines and drawn down mouths.
As you read this, you might be thinking, how can I be grateful to the person who treated me badly, or who thinks they are always right? Don’t worry about them. This is about you. Maybe you’re thinking you have nothing to be grateful for to the person who hurt you. Dig deep. Find ten reasons to be grateful to them. Don’t stop halfway. Find ten reasons in lessons you’ve learned from them, gifts they’ve given, children you share, places they’ve taken you, insights you’ve learned about yourself through them. There has got to ten things. This exercise was difficult for me the first time I did it. Then it got easier. I know it may sound ridiculous to some, but it works. It really does. Gratitude for others changes our lives. The person might still be difficult. You could still choose not to have a relationship with him or her, but your anger, your hurt and resentment will melt away. You’ll feel lighter, freer, stronger. Give it time, though. It doesn’t happen overnight. If there’s still no change, repeat the exercise until those negative emotions disappear. And they will.