I Want You To Know This

I met a young woman who I’ll call Emma. I was sitting at a table selling my books and she approached me hesitantly.

“I want to be a writer,” she said, “but I don’t know how to start.”

I offered to help and gave her my number. Every week she is supposed to send me a piece of writing, however small, even if it’s a paragraph on why she finds it hard to write. So far, I haven’t seen anything yet, only a short text telling me her life is the lowest it’s ever been.

I’m not judging Emma. She reminds me too much of myself. I want to tell her that life will always have ups and downs. Learning to move forward through negative emotions is the only way to keep going. I want to tell Emma that for anything worthwhile - writing, studying, eating well, exercising, starting a business - none of it is easy, but it’s worth it. Don’t give up. It sounds cliche, but the pain of not taking action is worse than the pain of it being hard. Starting is the hardest part, and sometimes you’ll have to start again and again and again. I want to admit to her that I keep having to start and re-start. Most days I’m disappointed in myself for not starting. My friends remind me that some days are for resting, others are for celebrating wins and some days are for the real work. I want to tell Emma that the difference between those who achieve their dreams and those who don’t is simply action and action takes courage.

Emma is not so different from me. It took courage for me to write this blog. I’m out of practice. Out of energy. Out of motivation. I want to tell Emma that most days I take the easy route and do the things that are familiar, like doing laundry (ugh!) Sometimes it feels like the list of things that are hard just get longer.

I want Emma to know that I won’t give up on her. My inner circle has never given up on me (even if they give me the same advice over and over again). They hold me accountable. I sometimes feel pushed and pressured, but I know it’s because they know what I need, not what I want. I need to write, exercise, and eat well. What I want is to escape into an imaginary world of movies and junk food where the negative feelings of guilt and fear are held at bay.

Most of all, I want to tell Emma to surround herself with the type of people who will celebrate her successes as she celebrates theirs, people who love her for who she is, not for what she has or the social media image she shows to the world. Having friends like this is true wealth.

And finally Emma, I want you to know this. When I once asked my late grandmother Mavis how she got through life, she said, “Prayer and faith, my love.”